Miscarriage~The Grief of Emptiness

My sweetheart and I were married on August 14, 1978, and we desired to have children as soon as the Lord would give them to us.

By November 8th, I was calling my gynecologist for information on a pregnancy test.  That was back in the day before you could purchase a self-test kit from your local drug store.  Never having had a pregnancy test before, the instructions given to me were to provide them with a sample of my morning urine.  The next day I carried my brown paper bag with a urine filled container into the doctor’s office for testing.  Then I waited for the results.  Strangely enough, I had heard a loud roar of laughter just after my sample was received by the nearby lab personnel.  I quickly reasoned that the full quart-size mason jar was a little more than what was needed for a pregnancy test!  I would have laughed with them, but I really wasn’t feeling well.  My husband had been on military sick-call for a few days and had already been admitted to the base hospital for further testing.  I was beginning to wonder if I was coming down with whatever he had.  A little later, and with a little more laughter, the official results were given to me: I was indeed pregnant.  Then I asked, “Should I be concerned that I am spotting?” Read More

Marriage & Grief

Research Results
There have been numerous surveys conducted by various organizations attempting to determine the effects of grief on a marriage. The main focus has been the impact of losing a child and whether or not the marriage was able to survive the stress that was placed on it. While the results have shown conflicting conclusions there is one truth the remains. Many marriages do not survive and many of those that do survive also suffer long lasting evidence of the pain and suffering involved. Our purpose in this writing is to provide some education and helps that will enable a marriage to strengthen rather than fall apart when tragedy strikes. Read More

The Journey Begins

Grief is a Merciless Adversary
Grief has no feelings but pain. It shows no emotion but heartache. It attacks the old, the young, the weak and the strong. It descends upon the rich, the poor, the good and the bad. It shows no favoritism. It gives no warning. Read More

Grief & the Holidays

Holidays are never the same after the death of a loved one.  No one has to tell us that. This is especially true when you have lost a child.  Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas or even a birthday, those certain times of the year can be very, very painful even to the point of depression.  If you are going through that “empty” holiday experience for the first time it can be almost as devastating as your loved one’s death.  You have already moved past the initial shock of their death and maybe even partially started to function again as a person.  However, now the reality sets in and it’s almost as if they have died the second time.  Read More